On Christmas morning 2020 I went for a long, snowy walk through my neighbourhood, searching for signs of Christmas. There was snow…a good start! About 5 inches of the fluffy stuff fell overnight and blanketed this city in white. I live in The Distillery District in Toronto and often walk through charming, historic and nearby Corktown. The tree-lined streets are filled with colourful duplexes and on this day, each brightly-coloured door stood out against the snow. Each door was festooned with a holiday wreath. My search for some holiday cheer was successful. I came home refreshed, with a lighter heart and put together the photo collage you see above.

In this year of COVID-19 you probably do not wonder why I was seeking out a lighter heart. What a difficult year! And at a holiday like Christmas, when we are used to gathering together to celebrate the love of family, the necessary yet heart-breaking requirement to stay apart is a harsh pill to swallow. COVID-19 is the pre-revelation Grinch who hates Christmas!

Is it awful of me to admit I felt like the pre-revelation Grinch this year? The term “covid-coaster” is apt. One minute I am humming along to Christmas music and writing Christmas cards, and the next minute I just want this holiday to pass me by. I know I am not alone in feeling this way as like me, many folks are missing dear family members, the thought of their empty chair at the holiday dinner table reducing you to a torrent of tears. My Mum passed away this year and this would be our first year without her. Mum LOVED Christmas and many of my memories about this cherished season revolve around her.

To say that my heart has been heavy heading into Christmas is an understatement. Truthfully, I even found it challenging to write my usual cheery Christmas blog post. Today is December 28th…please forgive my tardiness!

But not unlike the Grinch, I did receive a revelation about Christmas, about this challenging time we are going through, that has shifted my perspective. A good friend of mine sent me a book recommendation and like any good book-lover, I picked it up and devoured it. This book is essential reading! Please do as I did and seek out Charlie Mackesy’s The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. By the title you might guess it is a children’s book but it is not! It is a beautifully-illustrated and endearing book about the power of friendship, kindness and love. You can find the story about Charlie and his book here. I hope Charlie would not mind my sharing a few of the pages from his book that set me to writing today.

Just like the boy in Charlie’s story, I realized that rather than worrying about whether my glass if half full or empty, “I think I am grateful to have a glass” right about now. Grief and sadness can keep us from being aware of the many gifts we have in our lives, despite times of hardship, loss and loneliness. So today I am sharing with you the things I am most grateful for right now. This book is one…

As well as the ability to recall wonderful memories of Christmases past! Thank goodness our family liked to take lots of photos!

I also appreciated that many folks returned to sending Christmas cards this year! My old farm hutch became the perfect spot to show them off. Lot’s of my favourite red pick-up trucks, a funny card showing a dog about to lick a post (a metaphor for COVID-19), a home-made card in my favourite colours, and a farm-yard card a good friend knew I would appreciate. Another friend sent a lovely care package along with her card that included a book by one of my favourite authors, C.S. Lewis. And I also loved seeing that many folks picked up the special Christmas edition of the Maud Lewis stamp!

This year I am also grateful for the outpouring of creativity through hand-made gifts and artwork. Perhaps we have COVID-19 to thank for this return to making? My brother-in-law made me a stunning live-edge island that I will cherish for a lifetime! My sister crocheted me a hat to keep me warm as I go on my socially-distanced walks through the neighbourhood. My cousin sent me a stunning hand-made card in my favourite colours. My cousin-in-law shared his gift of painting. A friend made me a mask from a photo taken of tulips in her Mum’s garden. Another friend’s dear daughter sends me photo art she has made and these thoughtful images make my day!

It was these thoughtful gifts of love and friendship that helped me get through a Christmas without my family. I will say that the toughest time was Christmas Eve when our family typically attends Christmas Eve service. Mum, Dad and I used to attend the Christmas Eve service at Forest United Church and I recall the special moment when we would dim the lights, light candles and sing Silent Night together. I would always stand between Mum and Dad and put my hands on theirs, cherishing this time together. Now with Mum and Dad no longer with us, I attend Christmas Eve service at Hope United in Alvinston with my sister Jen and her family. It is a lovely and welcoming community and service with lots of singing.

So, what am I grateful for this year? The ability to gather virtually. My sister sent me a link to their service and I loved it! I also participated in the first annual Christmas Eve Jingle where Toronto residents once again took to their yards and balconies to ring bells and bang pots in support of our front line workers. Afterwards I went for a walk through my quiet neighbourhood taking pictures in the falling snow. Messages of peace, family and love surrounded me when I needed them most.

And finally, on Christmas morning, I was grateful yet again for technology; the ability to bring families together virtually at a time when we cannot gather in person. Our family opened presents together!

With this lift to my spirits, I then bundled up and headed out to the great outdoors to breathe in the fresh air and stride through the freshly-fallen snow. My heart got lighter with each colourful, festive doorway I passed by. Neighbours were out shovelling snow and many waved or wished me a “Merry Christmas.”

We really do have so much to be grateful for! I will leave the last message to Charlie Mackesy while I wish you and yours a healthy, safe and wonderful holiday full of love!

Until we meet again, much love, from your Vagabond Photographer.